I KNOW HOW IT FEELS.

Can one soul heal another without having endured the same wounds? Trust me, I’ve been there and I know how it feels.

You feel broken, but you have only been bruised. You think you are weak but you’re just tired, all you need is some rest. Go to sleep, let the silence and the darkness of the night whisper healing into your soul and when the sunshine awakes you, you will have remembered how strong you really are.

You feel like you are falling, as a bird that has lost its wings while soaring high in the sky and nothing can save it from the solid ground, but you have only stumbled. When all strength is lost and each step feels heavy, when life loses its meaning and each breath feels pointless, don’t stare down at the hopelessness, look up at the cross. Can you see the light? Don’t look away, embrace it and let Him make your steps steady and your paths straight.

You feel alone. You look around and no one seems to care, they are all busy fighting their own battles. You are longing for, not many but just one of them to notice your pain and to relieve it by asking, “Are you okay?” But, no one is showing up. When you look around, all you see is loneliness trying to creep in. You feel like a ship that has been abandoned out in the high seas and each wave is breaking you apart piece by piece as you slowly drown in the darkness.

Hmm, I can see you are still watching them as they go right past you and as each one of them passes, they kick some dust, burying you deeper and deeper beneath the pain. But deep inside, you are beginning to realize that even if a thousand of them were to gather all around you, none of them would understand the pain you’re suffering, none of them would be brave enough to fight for you. It’s time to let them go, they are not the remedy, after all.

Now you are on your knees, your face buried in your tear-soaked hands, “Is there a way out of this?” I hear you ask. Oh, yes there is, wipe away your tears and look up. Can you see that pierced and bloody hand that is stretched out in front of you? Don’t push it aside, take it and let Him walk with you through the fire.

You feel lost. You’re trying to move, you’re trying to find a way but when you look around, all you see is darkness. With all your might, you’re trying to fight it, you’re trying to push it aside so as to run away, but all your efforts are proving futile. What if you don’t have to try too hard? Maybe all you need to do is to be as still as the waters on a tranquil day. Now, silence! Can you hear the soft whisper of a voice within the darkness? You know who He is?

I can see the darkness begin to tremble, because you have seen the light. As you get back up, trampling the fears, you now know that in the depths of this darkness, here will your foundations lie.

“I can’t take it anymore, I can’t! I’ve had enough! I’m tired, I can’t do this anymore!…” I can hear the cries echoing from deep within your torn heart, but they can’t see or hear it. All they see is your fake smile and your tough demeanor. All they hear is your loud laughter. But you yourself knows that on the inside, something is eating away at your soul, as a tick sucks the cows’ blood and it’s just a matter of time before the shell crumbles and the yolk is spilled.

Indeed, your strength is little, after all, we are only flesh and bone. You have arrived at the end of your road, you look around and there’s no place left to run to, there’s no one left to turn to. You fall on your knees wanting to give up, but wait! Remember those few who believe in you, remember them, those who trust you. Remember those whom you secretly inspire, you are their light and their strength, without you they cannot move. Remember those who depend on you, those few who truly love you, remember them all. Now, silence! Can you hear it? Can you feel it? I can hear it, your heart, it’s still beating. Do you know what that means? It means that hope still exists. So, get back on your feet and keep fighting, the journey is far from over, the battle yet to be won.

But if the track is full of hurdles, you try to jump but you just keep falling, if hopelessness weighs you down every time you try to get back up, with the little strength that you have left, I want you to drag yourself to the cross and at its foot, lay down your burdens. Once you’re done, with the new found strength, get back up, wipe away your tears as you trample all your troubles and find your rest, for His yoke is easy and His burden light.

The night is ripe but you still haven’t lost yourself under the spell of sleep. You are in your bed, intensely staring at the ceiling, your arms tightly sewn around the pillow. And no, it’s not because of fear, by now you are familiar with the darkness. The wind is blowing strong yet the trees aren’t rustling. You are shivering yet winter is still months away. You have tried the fire, but even the hottest of flames have failed at keeping you warm. At this point, it would be better to drown in a pool full of dry ice, but trust me, you don’t have to feel so cold, the love you are longing for is right there next to you. Look up at the cross and as His blood trickles into your heart, let Him reveal to you the depths of His love.

“What have I done to deserve this? No, I don’t deserve this!…” Enough! Trust me, I know how it feels, I’ve been there. Now, don’t lose hope or courage because, this wasn’t by chance, you are in the right place, that’s where you need to be. Just as a seed that has been sown, there in the darkness is where new life begins. So, be still, trust in Him, drink of His living water and patiently watch as the light draws near thee!

By, Musa Jumba.