A LETTER FROM YOUR SOULMATE.

You have wiped the dust off your eyes and now they are fixed on the cross. You have taken His bloody hand and He has led you through the fire. Your faith has been strengthened, your hope renewed, but you have found something greater, something stronger, that is, true love.

Before, when your heart was full of pride, you thought you were whole, but now you have realized that you are incomplete. Deep inside, you can feel it, something is missing, a part of you, bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh. As a child, these thoughts and emotions, your mind was too immature to understand and your heart too fragile to bear. But days and nights have passed and you are no longer a child. Time has filled your mind with wisdom and the seasons of life have strengthened your heart.

Now, all there is, is torment. All they see is your broad smile, all they hear is your loud laughter, but you yourself knows that on the inside, the rain is roaring and the wind is strong. You look around and all you see is darkness, there is no place to run. So, you try to push me away with cups of coffee, lengthy books, goals, tiring drives, vain conversations and many times with lonesome walks in nature, but I haven’t moved an inch, I am still haunting you, just as your shadow. Each morning, you try and you master some courage so as to face me but the moment you step out, the voices begin to weigh you down, eating away at your hope as the termites chew away the trunk of a tree. “It’s that one, no, that one, no, not that one, the other one…” Everywhere you turn, you hear the whispers. You have tried to shut out the voices with music but this has only hardened the puzzle.

You are trying your best but with each step, it feels like I am inching further and further away. In the nights, as you lie in bed, staring into the void, you wonder, “Am I the problem?” “Am I good enough?” You have even questioned my existence, “Can such a soul exist? Or maybe this is just a dream!” At times you even ignore your own heart and wonder if true love really exists. They don’t understand, most of them are trying to wake you up, they say your dreams are invalid. But I do, I understand. I know why you are acting the way you are, you’re not afraid of me, you are afraid of making the wrong move, afraid of ripping your flesh open with your bare hands, plucking your heart out and gifting it to someone who is not worthy. I know how hard it is and how lonely you feel right now, but trust me, you are not alone in this, where I am, I’m similarly fighting you.

This love which you envisioned as being heavenly, full of flowers, long walks, rich conversations, growth, timelessness, patience, kindness, honor, hope, courage, understanding, faithfulness, perseverance, peace, sacrifice, warm hugs, selflessness, humility, trust… endless, eternal possibilities, it has turned into a nightmare, a burden too heavy to bear. Each morning, you wake up, your hope having been renewed, thinking, “Maybe this is the day, that special day,” but the days just seem to be getting slower and the nights colder. You stare at the clock and the seconds feel like minutes and the minutes like hours. Being the strong person you are, you have not given up, you have pushed yourself, inch by inch, dragging your big heart behind you and look how far you have come! But now, you are at a crossroads wondering, “Which way should I go?” Your strength is now little, you fall on your knees, your face buried in your tear soaked hands and with anger you cry out, “Is it really worth it?” You ask, “God, why did you give me such a rich heart? Why do I care so much about your love? I wish I had a poor heart like most people, at least I would be at peace!”

But, you can’t give up on me right now, I won’t let you, can you feel the longing, deep within your heart? Where I am, I’m stumbling but I won’t give up, I won’t stop fighting for you. With each stumble, my steps become steadier. So, get back up and keep fighting, be not afraid of the darkness, step after step, the morning draweth nigh.

But if all hope is lost, let me assure you that, not even the highest mountain, the longest Nile, the deepest valley, the driest desert, the strongest waves, the harshest storm, the darkest night, no powers, no success, no mistake, no beast, no temptation, no disability, no disease, no color, no one and nothing, can stop us from becoming one. Our love cannot be conquered, distance and time mean nothing, before it.

As you get back up, ready to soldier on, let me not remind you of how strong our love is. But if the arrows are too many, your strength is gone, you fall on your knees, blood gushing out, feeling overwhelmed… look up at the cross, take His bloody hand, close your eyes and just trust Him.

Look ahead, there is no turning back now. Even though all you see is loneliness, don’t lose hope, don’t look back, keep your eyes fixed on the horizon. Don’t stop, keep rowing, row, row, row your boat… Each row brings us close and in due season, when that special day dawns, you will see that the tears, the sweat and the sacrifice are not in vain. And when you hear the giant waves roar as they approach, let not fear overtake thee, He will calm the storms. Be not afraid of the darkness nor the silence of the night, be not afraid of the scorching heat of day nor the cold the darkness brings. Be not afraid of the depths of the waters, your hand is within His.

But even with all the hope, courage and strength He has given you, on your weakest day, doubt may seize your faith and you will begin to sink, sinking in the loneliness. The deeper you fall, the darker it becomes, but just as the darkness is about to swallow the last speck of light, then, will I dive in. I will take your hand and together, we will brave the roughest seas, we will conquer the highest mountains, we will trample the ferocious beasts, together, we will cross the raging rivers, we will endure the hottest flames and we will overcome the strongest temptations. Through the seasons, we shall hold hands. Brick by brick, we will build our kingdom and together, we shall reign. As iron sharpens iron, we shall learn from each other. In the desert, He will be our hope, in the darkest nights, we shall embrace, in the deepest valley, He will be our comfort and in the harshest of storms, we shall hide under His might.

And when it is time to face death, by His blood, we will overcome it and our love will be freed, free from the shackles of time. Having fought a good fight, we will step into His eternal love and we’ll know not fear, pain, sorrow, lack, delay, weakness, nor any other suffering.

As we patiently wait, bravely fight, purposefully sacrifice and earnestly pray for that special day, the day I will give you my heart and you will give me yours, let your thoughts, your words and your actions be full of love. And preach, teach the ways and the mysteries of love to those whose hearts are poor!

By, your Soulmate.